Where Do You Go For Fun?
by Houkanno Yuuhou
Summary: Crossover with Ironman. Inspired by a 4chan thread. Everyone's favorite drunks, Tony Stark and Miriam Pataki, meet at an AA meeting one evening and then hit the bars. Romance ensues.


It was the same old shit, time after time. So much so that she didn't understand why she bothered going to these meetings. Just to feel less like a failure for a couple of hours? Ha! Why? What was the point? The very first time she'd broken her AA virginity, as it were, she'd gone home ready to become a better mother and person only to have Bob shove her fuck-ups in her face. _Her_ change? He'd laughed in her face! That had been years ago.

Not too long ago, she was ordered to go thanks to those damn DUIs, but after her judgment was complete, she decided to go again when she was alone in the house and bored. She hadn't even made it through the whole meeting before storming out and walking to her favorite hideaway to drown her frustrations. After that, it had become a tradition to go have a few shots or mixed drinks after a meeting. Obviously no one had caught on because she had yet to be confronted about it.

She sighed and lit up a Virginia Slims. It was one of the rare times she reverted back to smoking. Not one for talking about her feelings to a group of strangers, she needed something more productive to do with her hands besides biting her nails - another old bad habit.

The same whiny hag who was at every meeting was going on and on again about coughing up blood. Miriam could never figure out why the woman wouldn't go to a doctor about her fucking problems instead of agonizing over them in front of people; so she was obviously poor and out of work with no insurance, but criminey, had she never heard of a free clinic?

Miriam did as always - tuned the old bag out and took a few puffs off her cigarette.

"A pretty lady such as you doesn't need a cigarette dangling from her mouth," a pleasant male voice piped up from behind her. She turned around and came face-to-face with the loveliest shade of warm chocolate brown eyes she'd ever seen. The guy flashed a grin as she blushed. "Now a nice apple martini would look enchanting against those red lips."

He was a handsome work of art. Had to be pretty well off, too. His dress shirt was one of those high quality cotton Eton shirts, and the pants were definitely Emporio Armani; she'd been after Bob for years to get a pair, but the blowhard was cheap when it came to clothes. The haircut was nice and professional even though it screamed "wild frat boy". Such a beautiful dark brown, too. She eyed his belly and noticed no love handles; in fact, it looked like he worked out regularly.

She snorted and blew a ring of smoke his direction. "We're at an AA meeting. Do you think I'm interested in talking about drinking?"

That same cocky smirk stared back at her. "Well, normally? No. However, I detect a hint of Captain Morgan on your breath, and I think that makes you my kind of woman." He looked at the sticker plastered crookedly on her dress and winked. "Miriam."

"Wow, you're really arrogant," she laughed and flicked her ashes to the floor, "but I like that in a guy. You wear it in a charming way."

"Well, thank you."

"Don't mention it." She took long drag. "So I don't see a nametag on that really nice shirt of yours. Got a name?"

He looked down at his chest in confusion, and after a few seconds, nodded his head. "I forgot that I didn't put one of those on. Don't want to ruin a $200 shirt, you know. Anyway, the name's Tony." He grabbed the hand that didn't have her cigarette in it and kissed the knuckles. "I'm pleased to meet you."

She smiled. "The same here. So why haven't I seen you before? Did you get forced to attend or are you having a moment of guilt?" Giggling, she added, "Or maybe you're here for the donuts and coffee."

"God, no. And what was that you said - 'a moment of guilt?'"

"Oh, well…you know. I thought maybe you had one of those moments after taking a drink where you think about what you've done with your life, and you have a lot of regrets, so you come to make yourself feel something besides depression and guilt." She took another drag and looked at the ground, mumbling, "That's what I do."

He stared at her for a minute before breaking out into laughter, and suddenly, she felt stupid and embarrassed for having said so much. "Nah, it's nothing like that, hun. I'm in town on business, actually, and I have a little downtime right now."

"So you come to AA meetings to get your kicks?" she asked incredulously.

He grinned and ran his right hand through his hair, messing up his already messed up locks. "Nope, I come to AA meetings to pick up women." He stood from his chair and held out the hand that had just been on his head. "Want to come with?"

She would never know why she did it. Maybe she was finally tired of waiting for everything around her to change. Maybe she was ready for a little shaking up to happen. Damn it, she was bored. Bob paid more attention to the TV and his work than he did to her. Olga had her own life now, and Helga was too independent and wanted to be with her friends like most kids her age.

She was lonely, goddamn it, and sick of getting drunk by herself. She wanted to _live_, wanted to party like she'd done in her younger days before Bob and marriage.

She wanted to get so drunk she could fly up and touch the stars in her dreams.

With a smile on her face, she rose from her seat, grabbed her purse and his hand, and replied, "You're on."

They'd just finished a round of _Don't Stop Believin'_ and were nursing their ninth shot of Springbank single malt whiskey. Miriam couldn't remember the last time she'd had so much fun. Tony was very rich, very good looking, and a barrel of laughs. More importantly, he didn't care about her being married.

Most importantly, he had a really nice ride she couldn't stop gushing over. "Oh, I've always loved cars. It's what brought me and Bob together back in the day. He had this sweet blue '64 Corvette Stingray with a white soft convertible top and bucket seats. He called it 'The Pussy Magnet,' and it was. I was heartbroken when he sold it."

He downed the rest of his shot and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "So what did you do before you met Bob?"

She took a sip and rocked her hand in a circular motion, watching the dark amber liquid swirl in the glass. "Well, when I was a little girl, I rode bulls. I won some competitions for that. Really though, I always loved swimming and flying. I used to be a world-class swimmer back in high school and college. I wanted to learn to fly a plane, but I didn't really get around to it. I have an uncle who has his pilot's license, and he used to take me up in the air when I'd visit. He always promised to teach me if I wanted to learn, but I have enough problems with keeping my driver's license, so I kind of decided against it."

"Ah, flying is fun. I bet you'd have a blast. And swimming, huh?" He smiled and looked knowingly at her legs. "Now I know how you got those gorgeous legs." Their bartender came by to refill Tony's glass who, in turn, raised it in the air. "To one helluva body, Miriam!"

She giggled and rose what was left of hers as well. "Thanks, Tony. You're not so bad, yourself."

"How the hell did you end up married to Bob, anyway? I mean, you're such a lovely woman. I'd expect to see you managing your own company or, well, competing in the Olympics. You certainly seem capable of doing more than the stay-at-home-mom gig."

Her face turned a deep shade of red as she whispered, "I got pregnant." She cleared her throat and spoke louder. "Bob and I were never meant to be a serious thing. We hooked up at a friend's party in college. He played football, and of course, I thought jocks were drop-dead sexy. It seemed like a natural thing. He was so cute, and then he promised me a ride in his car." Frowning, she spun her now empty glass on the table and harrumphed. "He was boring to talk to, but it didn't matter. We were speeding down some old country roads outside of the city, and the excitement of it was turning me on. When we stopped, I couldn't help myself. It was supposed to be just that one time, but the condom broke, and a few weeks later, I was sick. I didn't need a pregnancy test to tell me what was going on.

"Bob…he was great about it. I was expecting him to pack his bags and leave the country, but he wanted to do the right thing, so he asked me to marry him. I didn't want to say yes, but I didn't think I had a choice. My parents were disappointed and about to disown me, I was starting to fall behind in my classes because of morning sickness, and I couldn't stay on the swim team. We couldn't afford a big wedding. Bob worked his ass off to buy me a dress, rent a chapel, buy the license, and have a little celebration afterwards. We found out we were having a boy, and his eyes lit up. He kept going on and on about having a son who could carry on the Pataki name and legacy, and I became more and more miserable. I just wasn't ready for a baby." A tear slid down her cheek. "I guess my body wasn't either. Little Robert was stillborn."

Tony choked on his drink. "Oh, Jesus, Miriam. I'm sorry."

"That was years ago now. I've gotten over it. Bob never has though. He really wanted a son, so we tried again as soon as I could. It wasn't hard to get pregnant, but it was hard for me to stay pregnant. I had two miscarriages before Olga was finally born. We kept trying for a boy, but I just kept having more miscarriages, and Bob threw himself into his work and into making Olga a success. When I was finally able to make it into the second trimester again, I kept praying the next one would be a boy, but it didn't happen. Helga was born and then…." She trailed off, lost in her horrible memories for a while. Tony motioned for the bartender to pour her another, and she downed it gratefully. "I was hemorrhaging, and blood was…was eh-everywhere," she hiccupped. "No more kids. No boys. They had to remove everything." The bartender handed her some tissue, and she dabbed at the wet spots on her cheeks. "Thanks. I'm sorry for the depressing story. I meant to have some fun, but this always happens when I talk about Bob."

Tony stared at her, as if contemplating something. After about fifteen minutes or so, he took her left hand in his hands and asked, "Do you still like to fly?"

"Huh?"

"Flying. Do you still like it?"

She thought about his question for a minute, not really sure what he was getting at. "Oh, I don't know…I haven't been up in quite a long time."

"You want to have some real fun?"

She cleaned the smudges off her glasses using the hem of her dress and put them back on so she could see him clearly. "What kind of fun?"

"You'll see."

Miriam hadn't known the meaning of the word exciting until she met Tony Stark.

Finding out that he's actually Ironman had been…OK, so it had been enough to make her jaw drop to the floor.

But a personal tour of the city through the air…in his arms? It was just so damn unbelievable and even more indescribable. She was having the time of her life there in his strong arms up against his armor with the wind rushing through her hair. Not even once had she worried that he'd drop her. Of course, that could have been the alcohol in her system talking, but she preferred to believe that it was because she felt so safe with him.

After a while, he sat her down on the beach by Padilla Bay and took off the suit. She relaxed against him and shivered as his tongue licked a trail down her neck.

"That was so wonderful. It's always been my dream to get as close to the stars as possible."

He kissed her cheek, and she was amazed by how hot his lips were against her cool skin. "Glad to have been of service."

"Why couldn't I have met you years ago, Tony?" she sighed.

He paused and looked at her like she'd grown another head. "I'm not that good with children, so be glad you didn't."

Her hand slid past his belt buckle, and his body jerked slightly with anticipation. "Well, we're even because I'm not good with children either." They both stared at each other and then laughed loudly. Afterwards, she fell back against the ground and let out a small "oomph". Pieces of sand got into her dress, making her groan, so she slipped it off. A quick glance to the left showed her that Tony was busy yanking his clothes off, too, and tossing them in a pile away from them. She smirked knowingly. "Aren't you worried about getting your nice stuff dirty, Mr. Stark?"

He smiled as he helped her with her bra. "Why, Ms. Miriam, I _love_ getting dirty."

A girlish giggle filled the night sky as his teeth tugged on her panties. Why couldn't life always be this fantastic?


End file.
